princess_jaded

headless_bex

Stop the Pain.

“Yesung-ah.” Siwon whispered on the couch.

“Can you just leave me alone and let me cope with this by myself.” Yesung weeped. “Please, just stop. Just go away.”

“Please, just listen to what I have to say,” Siwon shook his knees lightly, begging for forgiveness. “Sungie, please…”

“Just stop it. I’m not worth your time, right? Just stop the pain.” Yesung threw a cushion at him. “Just get out of my face. I still cherish this friendship, even if you don’t.”

“Yesung-ahh.” Siwon began crying when he saw the man burst into fresh tears.

“Just go away. Stop it. Stop everything.”

“Siwon, just leave him be.” Donghae placed a gentle hand on his dongsaeng’s shoulder. “Give him some time.”

Siwon nodded as Donghae mouthed to him that he will keep an eye on him. When the door closed and Siwon left their dorm, Yesung latched himself onto Donghae and wept harder.

“Donghae-ah, can you stop the pain, anything, can you just stop it.” Donghae fell quiet as Yesung cried himself to sleep against his body.

Rewind the Laughter.


“Hyungg stop it.” Ryeowook whined when Yesung held his hand above the bag.

“No.” Yesung scooped up another handful and blew it towards his face.

“There isn’t going to be enough flour if you keep doing that.” Ryeowook dusted the layer of white on his sleeves, leaving fingerprints embedded on fabric.

Yesung bit his lip as he looked around for more things to entertain himself with. He looked at the trio of eggs in a bowl before Ryeowook glared the idea down right out of his mind.

He dipped a finger into the chocolate and drew hearts on Ryeowook’s cheekbone, a scowl forming on the younger’s lips.

“Why am I always the one babysitting you? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” Ryeowook muttered to himself as he sifted the flour.

Yesung gave him a laugh, softening Ryeowook’s frown. He would do anything to rewind the laughter he felt whenever he was with Ryeowook. It helped him cope with losing Siwon, and Ryeowook respected that. What Yesung didn’t know was Ryeowook’s undying crush on him.

Pause the Memory.

When Yesung was alone with Sungmin, he would simply cry. Nothing but fresh tears dribbled out of his eyes, smearing his eyeliner as the single black thread of moisture slinked down his cheek.

Sungmin understood exactly how he felt, him being in the exact same situation with their magnae right now.

Despite that, Sungmin would hold him in his embrace, cradling them both, carrying both of them through the hard times. They would huddle together in a blanket, letting nothing but wisps of their emotions swirl around their fragile soul as they died down in fading embers.

Yet Sungmin had an easier time taking it in, for one reason or another. Maybe it was because he truly believed in Kyuhyun. That made Yesung feel inferior, snobby, and even selfish because he could not accept it.

Yesung wished he could pause this memory and learn from his dongsaeng. Because he really appreciated Sungmin’s support when he himself is going through his own shit. Sungmin was truly a good, irreplaceable friend. Kyuhyun should realize he’s a keeper.


Fast Forward the Trouble.

Yesung didn’t even know what was happening to himself as he disintegrated on and off camera.

It felt as if his very essence had been stripped from him, leaving him hollow. Nothing he did made sense, his each and every action lacked judgment as the other members watched over him cautiously, worried.

“I’m fine.” Yesung snapped at Eunhyuk, who had appeared by him when he had the inclination to fall.

“Hyung.” Eunhyuk held him harder as they fumbled up the stairs.

“Can you just, let me go…” Yesung burst into fresh tears yet again. He himself had no idea where his body still found moisture to fuel his wet tears.

“No, Yesung-hyung.” Eunhyuk wrapped one of Yesung’s lifeless arms around his shoulder. “I’m not going to let you go.”

Fast forwarding the trouble would make it easier on everyone. Yesung should just get a grip and grow the fuck up. But at that very moment, he realized how much Eunhyuk cared for him despite his inferior dancing abilities. He was their beam of support, vocally.


Play the Happiness


They performed together on their farewell stage, doing both Sorry Sorry and It’s You. The past was gone, over. The curtains flared open, the crimson shades sweeping the floor as they walked out on stage.

Yesung felt like he did his best performance yet for the first song, and the rush of adrenaline surged through his whole body when the music for It’s You came blaring on.

Each note punctured his body, and when his verse came on after Kyuhyun’s, he delivered yet another astounding part while Leeteuk took the baton.

His eyes locked with each member throughout the song, Shindong, Eunhyuk, Kangin, Ryeowook, Leeteuk, Sungmin, Kyuhyun, Hankyung, Donghae and Heechul. Ironically his gaze met with Siwon’s last. It was time for his belting. Yesung squeezed his eyes shut and let the music guide him.

He felt spasms dazzle his body when he hit the climax of their song. He heard nothing except for himself. Everything was perfect.

Yesung held Siwon and Kangin’s hand as they lifted them up and bowed down. Play the happiness.